Friday, August 10, 2012

Role-Change

Sunday, September 26, 2010


The Relief Society lesson today was on how to teach our youth. We discussed leading by example, validating their feelings, spending time with them, etc. There was a good spirit in the room as we discussed the importance of parenthood. It wasn't until the closing hymn that I became emotional. As we sang, "Teach Me to Walk in the Light", my voice caught in my throat. The woman beside me handed me a tissue to catch my tears as I pondered the second verse,

"Come, little child, and together we'll learn
Of His commandments, that we may return
Home to his presence, to live in His sight--
Always, always to walk in the light.

I was reminded of how the roles have changed. Dan and I are no longer the parents leading the way--rather we are the parents being lead by the hand of our son. But with Ty beside us, "together we'll learn" so we can continue to be a family in the Eternities.

It is true: Being pregnant does not make me miss Ty any less. I still think about him every day just as much, if not more. But I have felt myself able to distinguish my new pregnancy from my grief with Ty, which is important. I am able to emotionally hold Ty in a different place than I used to. Even though I miss Ty, I am genuinely happy I am pregnant, and I know that's ok. I know this baby is different from Ty, and while I'm sure comparisons will be made, that seems normal for any parent.

I love you Ty-baby! and baby #2, I can't wait to feel you inside me.

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