Monday, December 6, 2010
A few days ago, I was working on Ty's book. It's been a
while since I've attempted anymore writing, so I spent some time reviewing an
earlier chapter. The section I was reading was a summary of some of the events
that took place in the first month, one of which involves how close I felt to
the comfort of the Spirit, and the surety of my knowledge that Ty "was
indeed somewhere and just as alive as
when I held him in my arms. I just couldn’t see him anymore".
I paused my reading, looking up to the digital frame that rotates through my favorite pictures of Ty every day. My own words and emotions struck me again, just as fervently as they did the very day that I sat beside his unmarked grave. Sitting in the living room, my eyes flooded with tears and my heart swelled. But the tears that fell were not just because I missed him. I was overcome with such a strong feeling that Ty was right there beside me, his sweet spirit engulfing the room with his presence.
"Hi, Baby..." I said, closing my eyes as so much emotion and something more wrapped tightly around me. "I love you."
I haven't yet had very many experiences as distinct as this one--maybe not since the funeral. And after only a minute, the feeling was gone. But I cannot deny what I felt, and hope the more I acknowledge these gifts from Heavenly Father that they will come more frequently. A good friend promised me I would learn to recognize these moments more often. I believe more and more that this is true.
If only I could feel Ty like that everyday... I believe he checks in more often than I realize. I'm so grateful for the times I can recognize them.
I paused my reading, looking up to the digital frame that rotates through my favorite pictures of Ty every day. My own words and emotions struck me again, just as fervently as they did the very day that I sat beside his unmarked grave. Sitting in the living room, my eyes flooded with tears and my heart swelled. But the tears that fell were not just because I missed him. I was overcome with such a strong feeling that Ty was right there beside me, his sweet spirit engulfing the room with his presence.
"Hi, Baby..." I said, closing my eyes as so much emotion and something more wrapped tightly around me. "I love you."
I haven't yet had very many experiences as distinct as this one--maybe not since the funeral. And after only a minute, the feeling was gone. But I cannot deny what I felt, and hope the more I acknowledge these gifts from Heavenly Father that they will come more frequently. A good friend promised me I would learn to recognize these moments more often. I believe more and more that this is true.
If only I could feel Ty like that everyday... I believe he checks in more often than I realize. I'm so grateful for the times I can recognize them.
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