Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Dan and I attended our second therapy session together,
totalling three for me since Dan was unable to come last week.
One of the main things we readdressed was "thought management". Dan and I mentioned that while we are ecstatic about pregnancy, we also have a lot of fear to work through. How do we enjoy parenthood when we may feel paranoid about night-time? Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to happily say, "My baby slept all through the night!" I can only imagine myself jumping out of bed every couple hours, terrified to make that walk into the nursery and peer into the crib. While exhausting myself, I can foresee myself being relieved that the baby wakes up every two hours and will probably perpetuate the problem by subconsciously encouraging it!
Through "thought management" our therapist explained how thoughts can't just be "stopped"--they need to be replaced. In our case of fearful thoughts (which lead to fearful emotions), we need to replace the fear with positive thinking. As our therapist reminded us today: This baby is a different baby from Ty. His genes are different. His spirit is different. When we are fearful or angry, the Spirit of the Lord is not present because those negative emotions come from the adversary. The Lord has gifted us with prayer as the key to asking for help in all things.
We talked about how children, especially at a young age, are absorbent sponges who really reflect their parents' emotions and behavior. Kids sense so much of who we are and mimic what they see and feel. As our therapist said, "If you are happy, your child will be happy." Dan and I do not want to be parents who allow paranoia to prevent our kids from living a normal life.
Letting go of fear will be an act of faith, but Dan and I left our session feeling positive and encouraged. Our therapist really made a lot of sense tonight, validating our feelings while giving us spiritual advice. While I am already excited to meet our new little one, a part of me thinks, "Thank goodness for nine months to spiritually prepare!" Faith and spirituality will be our greatest tools. If our home is full of the spirit and trust in the Lord, there will be no room for negative thoughts and emotions. AKA: The adversary.
I think I'm somewhere between six and seven weeks pregnant. I feel completely the same, except for excessive fatigue that I don't remember feeling with Ty this early, or if ever. It's been a little ridiculous, actually. I carry on my days as normal, (lots of writing, some exercise, errands, work, hanging out with friends...) but by the time Dan and I are laying in bed, my body goes into immediate shut-down! Ok, so I've never been good about staying awake at night watching movies. I usually fall asleep half-way or three-quarters of the way through, depending how late we start it. But the other night as we laid in bed, Dan set up the movie on his lap-top while I rested the back of my head against my pillow for just a moment... Fifteen minutes later I woke up, eye-brows crinkled and confused as I questioned the movie in front of me, "What happened? Did I fall asleep?" Dan just rolls his eyes and refuses to answer such a dumb and unnecessary question.
By the way, Dan loves mocking me with his impression of me suddenly waking up from my instant slumber. He seems to think it's most accurate when he perks up with his eyes wide and criss-crossed, and with a ditzy, high-pitched voice mimics, "Whaat?... What happened? What do you mean I fell asleep?" This really makes me giggle because I certainly can't argue about it, especially when I literally fall asleep again in one minute or less. It's definitely been worse than normal though. But otherwise, I still feel great... so great that it makes me nervous if anything is really happening inside me, but there's that need for "thought management" again. It's just me with my fear of anything out of my control.
My first doctor's appointment is October 5. Can't wait!
One of the main things we readdressed was "thought management". Dan and I mentioned that while we are ecstatic about pregnancy, we also have a lot of fear to work through. How do we enjoy parenthood when we may feel paranoid about night-time? Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to happily say, "My baby slept all through the night!" I can only imagine myself jumping out of bed every couple hours, terrified to make that walk into the nursery and peer into the crib. While exhausting myself, I can foresee myself being relieved that the baby wakes up every two hours and will probably perpetuate the problem by subconsciously encouraging it!
Through "thought management" our therapist explained how thoughts can't just be "stopped"--they need to be replaced. In our case of fearful thoughts (which lead to fearful emotions), we need to replace the fear with positive thinking. As our therapist reminded us today: This baby is a different baby from Ty. His genes are different. His spirit is different. When we are fearful or angry, the Spirit of the Lord is not present because those negative emotions come from the adversary. The Lord has gifted us with prayer as the key to asking for help in all things.
We talked about how children, especially at a young age, are absorbent sponges who really reflect their parents' emotions and behavior. Kids sense so much of who we are and mimic what they see and feel. As our therapist said, "If you are happy, your child will be happy." Dan and I do not want to be parents who allow paranoia to prevent our kids from living a normal life.
Letting go of fear will be an act of faith, but Dan and I left our session feeling positive and encouraged. Our therapist really made a lot of sense tonight, validating our feelings while giving us spiritual advice. While I am already excited to meet our new little one, a part of me thinks, "Thank goodness for nine months to spiritually prepare!" Faith and spirituality will be our greatest tools. If our home is full of the spirit and trust in the Lord, there will be no room for negative thoughts and emotions. AKA: The adversary.
I think I'm somewhere between six and seven weeks pregnant. I feel completely the same, except for excessive fatigue that I don't remember feeling with Ty this early, or if ever. It's been a little ridiculous, actually. I carry on my days as normal, (lots of writing, some exercise, errands, work, hanging out with friends...) but by the time Dan and I are laying in bed, my body goes into immediate shut-down! Ok, so I've never been good about staying awake at night watching movies. I usually fall asleep half-way or three-quarters of the way through, depending how late we start it. But the other night as we laid in bed, Dan set up the movie on his lap-top while I rested the back of my head against my pillow for just a moment... Fifteen minutes later I woke up, eye-brows crinkled and confused as I questioned the movie in front of me, "What happened? Did I fall asleep?" Dan just rolls his eyes and refuses to answer such a dumb and unnecessary question.
By the way, Dan loves mocking me with his impression of me suddenly waking up from my instant slumber. He seems to think it's most accurate when he perks up with his eyes wide and criss-crossed, and with a ditzy, high-pitched voice mimics, "Whaat?... What happened? What do you mean I fell asleep?" This really makes me giggle because I certainly can't argue about it, especially when I literally fall asleep again in one minute or less. It's definitely been worse than normal though. But otherwise, I still feel great... so great that it makes me nervous if anything is really happening inside me, but there's that need for "thought management" again. It's just me with my fear of anything out of my control.
My first doctor's appointment is October 5. Can't wait!
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