Sketches

Friday, September 17, 2010

 

After the funeral, my Aunt Lori and Uncle Scott asked me to send in a few pictures of Ty. They gave them to Jean Keaton, who is absolutely talented and amazing. Of course, I cried when I opened these on Mother's Day. What a precious, priceless gift for Dan and I to receive on such a special day.

Thank you so much! The drawings still bring so much comfort, peace, and smiles to our faces.

I adore Ty's eyes in this close-up. My heart melts just like it did when he was in my arms. He sure loved that teddy-bear blankie!

 

I started writing Ty's story this week. There are so many special experiences with him, before conception and following his death, that I continue to feel compelled to write them all down. I've been praying for strength and inspiration to help me capture this experience in an accurate, uplifting way.

But, of course, there is that awful morning to account for. This afternoon, it came time to write it. I simply bawled throughout the course of immersing myself in the memory. I could have stopped...but for some reason, I feel the need to record it, perhaps to prepare anyone reading Ty's whole story to more fully understand the grief cycle and healing process that is expressed through my blog entries

 

It's been six months and one week since Dan and I lived that nightmare. It's interesting to look back at my first journaling and see how far I've come and how much Dan and I have accomplished in half a year.

 

After reliving the memory, it took a few minutes to shake myself awake and remember that I'm OK. That life is progressing, and I'm healing. It's not that first day anymore...and I'm pregnant.

Finding out I am pregnant again at the exact six month mark gives me mixed feelings... But it does helps me feel hopeful for the future, and curious about the next few months leading up to the anniversary.

I'm still a little anxious believing I'm truly pregnant. I'm almost six weeks but my first appointment isn't until October 5th. I guess I just need to believe everything will work out just fine unless I hear otherwise.